Y'all... Wash Your Face
- Ashley Britton
- Oct 21, 2020
- 4 min read
Before you assume this blog post’s title is me hinting that you’re dirty and actually need to wash your face, I’ll state right now that’s far from it. This title is inspired by Rachel Hollis’ book “Girl Wash Your Face,” (which I would HIGHLY recommend checking it out) but for this post, I’m focusing on her recent book “Didn’t See That Coming.”
“Didn’t see that coming.” That statement right there could easily be the definition found in the dictionary for 2020. Looking back on everything that’s happened so far, I would need a calculator to determine how many times I could apply that statement to something that’s taken me by surprise, thrown me off my path, let down my expectations, you name it. Those four words are the perfect summary for the journey I’ve taken these past few months that’s made me the person I am today. And I won’t lie nor paint a more beautiful picture straining from current reality: that person feels weak, beaten up, and like she’s just been to hell and back.
“Didn’t see that coming.” I guarantee all of us college students can say we’ve felt (or still feel) this way about how our lives have been completely turned upside down because of the pandemic. If someone told us one year ago about all of our classes moving onto Zoom, we’d probably stand there looking more confused than ever and ask what Zoom even is. Except now, Zoom is our new normal; waking up and making the tough walk from our bed to our desk to log onto class is our new normal; having the fear looming in the back of our heads that we could be sent home any minute is our new normal; and feeling more stress or anxious from not knowing what to expect is our new normal.
“Didn’t see that coming.” For us college seniors, this one hits differently. As freshmen when we daydreamed about our senior year, we never pictured having all of the best moments of college being stripped away from our reach. We still imagined having our last time sitting on the Quad watching the seasons change, our last game days, our last year of making some of the best memories. And now, all of those feel like a dream.
But like Rachel Hollis says in her book, all of our feelings are valid and matter, because WE matter. We are in the right to stand here looking at all of these and feel the way we do about them and say: “This is BS.”
It’s true we’re all going through the pandemic together and that all of our lives, meaning our professors, our classmates, our families, and more have been affected in some way. But even if we haven’t been affected to the same degree, we’ve all been affected in one shape or form, and for us, that’s our own truth.
We’ve all felt our worlds slowly fall apart and former realities become daydreams. We’ve experienced the loss of family members and relationships, our daily routines and habits, our personal and work schedules, and more. I can’t sit here and compare all of my pain to yours and then justify who’s is worse, because how would I know? No one else knows your experience except for you, so only you can call BS.
If you haven’t been told this yet, let me (with the help of Rachel) be the one to tell you. What you’ve been through sucks, and I’m sorry that you had to experience it because you don’t deserve it. Your pain matters, your feelings matter… YOU matter.
But now… it’s time to wash your face.
After realizing everything that’s happened and accepting how much it royally sucks, you now have an important decision to make. You can either take that step towards learning and growing where eventually you can find new perspectives and redefine yourself and what you want your future to hold. Or, you can stay stuck in this pain of what has hurt you, where your identity can become rooted in this pain.
I’m not going to be a hypocrite and preach this concept, because just like you, I’ve been through it (and I mean REALLY through it). I’ve been through it to the point where my mental health had gone back to that low place it hadn’t visited in years. There are moments where I don’t want to take this step, because I feel so down where I start doubting myself that I can come out of this the other side as someone stronger. So I can only imagine how my words above might have terrified you, because they still somewhat terrify me even after attempting to take this huge step for a while now.
But if there’s anything that you take away from this post, it’s that you’re not alone in this process, because I’m right here going through it too. I’ve realized how exhausted I’ve become from sitting and feeling more comfortable with my pain, and that at the end of the day, doing so won’t change the past and what’s already happened.
So now, it’s time to wash my face from all of the emotional dirt and pain that 2020 has brought me. I believe that you have the strength to walk up to the sink and join me, but I hope that you choose to wash your face too.
Ashley! Thank you so much for this - finally, I feel like this is a breath of fresh air for me to be reading. I feel like someone has taken all of my recent thoughts throughout the past year and put them in this blog. It is so easy to get caught up in the pandemic - in all of the ways that this nasty virus has ruined and taken so many of our lives - but, to keep ourselves sane it is crucial that we take the time to reflect and think about everything that you've written. This year has been nothing any of us could have imagined. I lay awake most nights sitting thinking and wishing for "my…
Hi Ashley! First of all, I just want to start by thanking you for writing this. I know that all anyone talks about is how crazy these past few months have been, but it's different to see it in writing. This is such an important post for everyone to read and truly digest. I think that overall, everyone feels some type of loneliness during this time, and in this blog you made it clear that your feelings are valid, normal, and most of all everyone is feeling the same!! I think social media allows everyone to put on a facade, especially during this time, and it makes it hard to recognize that you are not alone in your feelings. …